The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride 2019

The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride unites classic and vintage style motorcycle riders all over the world to raise funds and awareness for prostate cancer research and men’s mental health.

This is my first year riding in the DGR with Latte Bike.

I have done DGR in Boston, Paris and New York previously. 

To me, DGR is like a cosplay event. people come together dressed up to ride. You get to see a lot of fantastic bikes which comes out once or twice a year. 

There is a big community of people who ride, but the community of daily riders are getting smaller as motorcycles in Singapore keep getting more expensive dues to excessive taxes. The inspection is also getting ridiculuous stupid as you can fail inspection even when you pass all the tests, but your original exhausts do not have the right inscription on them. 

I had to put some other original exhausts that were much louder to pass inspection.

In Singapore, many old motorcycles will also be banned on the road from 2028, and the blanket rule of giving out money is making some people profit from their old and unreliable bikes, while those who love their classic bikes are screwed.

The DGR in Singapore is pretty big as well, the meeting place at the back of the National Museum is almost not big enough to fit all the motorcycles. I estimate that there are more than 500 motorcycles in the parking lot, with some parked outside. 

It was a great riding event and there was some funds raised for a good cause. 

Hope to be more of such rides.

-- Robin

The Zen of Urban Farming

As you may know, I've published a few books and I'm working on this new book where I share my gardening experience along with other situations in life, business and social impact which makes me think, what if I use my experience in urban farming to explain these situations, will it help with understand and make you a better farmer as well?

How gardening experience can help you improve critical thinking. 

I have been planting various herbs and vegetables at home for more than 10 years and worked on numerous urban farming projects from hydroponics to aquaponics, from home plant kits to potted plants and fruit trees in my garden. I have killed my fair share of plants and tried many ways to propagate my plants.

I volunteered for various NGOs and consulted for businesses and foundations on projects to enhance their social impact. I have also done this for almost 20 years and published another book “Good Intentions are not Enough – Why we fail at helping others.” 

I am the co-founder of Civil Innovation Lab which is a multidisciplinary group of international social innovators and entrepreneurs responsible for a series of initiatives dedicated to transform inefficiencies, bridge gaps, address value creation and connect stakeholders.

I could see a lot of parallels with gardeners trying to do the best for their plants, sometimes killing them by lack of knowledge and experience, and the volunteers and donors who want to create social impact but in many cases, cause harm to the ecosystem by “over-helping”

So, for urban farmers who are trying to create social impact, or social entrepreneurs who are interested in gardening, I’d like to share my experiences which teach me that many things that we do are actually quite connected.

Gardening can also bring tranquility and calmness. Meditation and Zen teaching are all better with plants as well. Besides social impact, gardening can help explain many things about business, innovation and human behavior as well.

Urban farming is also a way where I can relax from a stressed out day living in the city. With a little time with your plants to help you focus, new ideas and solutions can come from the experience.

-- Robin Low

Leadership and Innovation

Many organizations and countries want to get do more "innovation". Innovation has become the "in" things now, and millions of dollars are spent hiring consultants, and going to courses on leadership.

You have events where leaders talk to other leaders about leadership. There is an issue here, and one thing that we do not hear about is the follower's voice.

From my experience engaging communities and working on solutions, I find that many donors and groups who just want to help but don't want to donate are just following status quo, and the most pressing problems are untouched.

When leaders just talk to other leaders, it often create an echo chamber which boosts egos. In the digital age, many of our cultures and values have shifted. Knowledge does not just lie in the few leaders who hold all the information.

Today, with the digital communications becoming one of the key ways to communicate with consumers, companies are now forced to engage and listen. Marketing is no longer one way, and feedback channels are more easy to access. A company that engages and listens to their customers can have better insights on the market. If you have a new solution and want the consumers to change their behaviors, you have to go out and ask them, "Hey, how can I get you to do this? How can I benefit you, so that you choose me?"

In the case of the open source movements, there is a lot of ground breaking innovation as people work together and engage one another in meaningful discussions.

In the Leadership Industry today, it is not enough that leaders talk down to their followers and have a top down hierarchy. It is more apparent that Leaders need to gain permission to lead, having qualifications and connections can get you that position, but it is hard to get the followers on the ground to be engaged and contribute meaningfully towards innovation.

Like in the occupy movement, the follower rise up against the big business. With a more educated population, we do have a higher capacity to create and innovate, however, followers will not just follow because you are the boss. Culture has shifted today that many of them will expect to have a say in where they are led.

I've been invited to many leadership forums, talks and other similar events, many of these events want their leaders to be innovative, but none of them is talking about engaging followers in conversations. One question needs to be asked by leaders today, "What will drive followers to follow your mission?"

I can think of several industries where this lack of engagement is very obvious. In the large International NGOs, the focus seems to be on donors and donor relations, rather than the employees and volunteer to engage in a meaningful way to work on innovative solutions to impact communities.

Another very important industry is in education. Academia seems to be another top down industry, and we do see a lot of apathy from teachers. Many teachers who are very passionate to teach, but the increasing administrative loads are pushing them away. No matter how much the leaders think they can innovate their industry, without the buy in from the front line -- the teachers. If the teachers do not feel that they are heard, if the teachers do not think that leaders are listening, and they do not have a seat at the table, this talk about innovation simply turns into apathy.

I have worked in numerous innovation projects, many in the education industry. The word "design thinking", "open collaboration", "human centered design" and a lot more new terms gets thrown around. There are some good ideas generated and initially, these teachers do feel excited, but after several of these workshops, the teachers love being part of the solution, but ultimately, they need their leaders to lead. Besides coming up with ideas, they want to be part of the decision making process; they want to give their views and engage with the people they respect; and they want to hear their leaders acknowledge the solution and work with them on implementation and asking questions to find out from the ground how some of his additional ideas from his birds eye view of the organization will affect the final solution.

Without real engagement, many of these collaborative idea generation workshop will eventually yield nothing as one thing is missing -- trust. The teachers will not feel that they are trusted and their ideas are taken into consideration, acknowledge for it and this builds more apathy.

In some cases, leaders may come from a different industry. In Academia, followers expect their leaders and respect leaders who are experts in their subjects. People want to grow under the expertise of their leaders. In some rare cases, when leaders from another industry can bring in a new perspective and gain the trust of the teachers, new ideas and solutions can be found. If an expert in a particular subject listen and learn to lead by listening to what the follower wants.

When people can grow and feel that they are heard and part of the solution, they will trust the leaders and follow them.

The important part about innovation is that people need to be in a frame of mind to want to innovate. Leaders play a big role to make it happen. It is easy to hire external consultants to talk about innovation, but without knowledge on the corporate culture and when it is met with apathy, innovation will never happen.

Leaders need to build culture of engagement and trust. In Asia, there may be less innovation, and this is because in Asian culture, followers still give respect to leaders, and will not be truthful with their responses. And sadly, to attract more followers, in many situations, the way to do it is pay increase, and with a higher salary, there is a higher resistance to say the truth if it might offend the leaders, and this results in even less innovation.



-- Robin Low

We need to strengthen our Civil Society.

With climate change, income inequality, the increased frequency of natural disasters, the amount of human suffering will only increase. Sadly, as the cities expand, the living conditions in most cities gets worse for the majority as pollution increase.

Today, we are faced with a problem of plastic waste as well. With the few billionaires having more money than the billions of others, we are also faced with a situation where many people look for cheaper alternatives. This creates a disposable culture as well as people go for fast fashion and use plastics in everything.

Plastic seems to be a cheap solution for many things from packaging to regular products. For convenience, people don't have to wash and bring their own containers, and in the end, many containers are made of plastic, and we use plastic bags to carry things. Compared to metal and wood, plastic products can be much cheaper as well, leading to their popularity.

Sadly, we never take into account the cost for disposing plastic. Plastic takes a long time to disintegrate, poor waste management will make a lot of plastic end up in land fills and the ocean, and sadly, marine life will eat it and some of them will die. This pollution along with climate change will create a situation where we will run out of land for crops, and run out of fishes in the sea.

This dire situation coupled with the ever increase in human population creates a time bomb where it will be a tinderbox waiting for the spark to happen.

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With inequality, many people feel the unfairness in the "system? In cities, living in close proximity with other humans also create a situation of stress by overpopulation. All these factors help create the mindset where people focus on their own needs and their needs for their families first before society. It is not uncommon for people to be selfish and think that problems with society should be solved by philanthropists and the government, and when solutions come from the few people, it will only give them more power.

With wealth and profits increasingly concentrated in the hands of a few, this is a worrying sign that the super-rich will have even more influence in development, democracy and politics worldwide. As many social enterprises of the Global South are funded by philanthropes from the Global North, this trend perpetuates the very same divide that the Sustainable Development Goals are trying to bridge.

Civil society should play two important functions when it comes to helping those most in need. The first function is creating and nurturing new ideas for transformative change. Because of the way that most social enterprises are set up, it is hard for the community to play this role. Second, civil society plays a crucial role in seeking the accountability of power, and new social enterprises do not measure the power of these excluded groups. In addition, the metrics used are generally simple and based on economic principles – like revenue or profits – that do not address power.

Power and economics are being taken from excluded communities through new fancy organizations called social enterprises. We need to understand that fulfilling the basic human needs like food, shelter and health does not end misery, exploitation and indignity.

We cannot rely on just a system that pretends to play an important role by fighting the manifestations of poverty, and not engage with structural questions of poverty, injustice, indignity and enslavement. Philanthropy should be about human dignity and justice, defending rights such as the right to life, equality before the law, freedom of expression, the rights to work, social security and education.

If we believe that resources are scarce, then we should see if we can engage the beneficiaries to see if they can be accountable for their actions and work on a better solution for their communities. NGOs need to engage their beneficiary, to work together on fixing situation and speak up for them, instead of taking pity. The poor, the handicapped and the marginalized people are not stupid people, they have ideas and dreams. Social enterprises should try to engage their beneficiaries in leadership roles, and look at other social aspects which they affect the ecosystem, and if they are indeed creating a positive change or patching the gap in the short term.

Each member of civil society has a role but many don’t discover these roles until they get immersed into a social impact situation or opportunity. Exposure is the key and soul satisfaction is the objective. It sometimes requires helping a fellow human to discover and ultimately partner to leverage their strengths for societal benefit.

There are a lot of problems to solve, and we as part of civil society hold the solution if we can work together to enable each other and make the world a better place.

-- Robin Low

How has the plastic ban affected me in Boston.

Like many people, I use the plastic bags I get from the supermarkets to bag my trash. They seemed to be an important part of my waste management at home. I do support the single use plastic ban and was wondering how it would affect me.

Normally, I would try to bring my own shopping bag to buy groceries, but even with a plastic bag in my backpack, in my motorcycle / car, I usually end up with more plastic bags.

So after the ban on Dec 14, 2018, I have been to the supermarket several times and I did not bring my own bag at least once a week. However, I just decided to put what I can in my pockets after paying and carrying the remaining items on my hands.

The fee for the plastic bag was $0.10. While not much, mentally, I was not willing to shell out more money. I also realize that this made the hoard of plastic bags in my cupboard decrease significantly as I was bringing less home.

When I start to realize that I may have to pay for trash bags at some point of time, I start to sort out my trash more efficiently. I sort my styrofoam trays according to size, I fold my plastic covers and other waste to compress them. When using eggs, I stack my eggshells into each other. When I'm cutting vegetables or removing shells, bones and other food waste, I now try to consolidate the waste and compact it to use less plastic.

Overall, I would saw it will probably cost you more if you don't bring your own bags, or have more inconveniences created when you need to carry groceries in your hands without a plastic bag.

Perhaps it is a little price you have to pay, and it may prove that is may be an essential to change our behaviors.

-- Robin Low

Money and the need for Enabling currencies

Money today is generally used as a mode of payment. Money also encourages competition and creates a need for endless growth (interest).

It works for many of us and got us through the industrial age, however, there are a lot of problems that are caused by our current economic system. Concentration of wealth is happening and major  religions that were against charging interest did not seem to bother about it now, Income redistribution schemes have all failed. Welfare system and progressive tax are criticized for being effective.

With the coming of the 4th Industrial Age, the worsening of climate change, explosion in population and the ageing population, there will be a lot more problems faced, and the pollution caused may make it harder for future generations to survive.


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Enabling currencies / Complementary tokens can play a big role to solve many of today's problems. A cooperative currency can be created to try to address some of these problems.

In a job scarce future, a work enabling currency can be a complementary currency instead of welfare. It can be used a tool to buffer a region from shocks caused by failures in the money system.

Work 

Quality Childcare
Teaching
Mentoring Youths
Elderly Care
Arts, Entertainment, Music
Crime Prevention
Infrastructure repair
Housing Rehabilitation
Environmental Cleanup
Greening of towns
Urban farming
Public transport
Preventative healthcare
...


Where there are no jobs, people can still work to contribute to society and they can be rewarded by tokens.

The role of the tokens can also be used like Barter+, or it can be stored as work hours which can be exchanged for favors and other tasks in the gift economy. (e.g. Looking after a pet for a day in Boston can earn you tokens which you can exchange for someone to accompany your parents to the doctor for a medical checkup and back.)

Time can be spent on community building activities instead of being wasted. The community can be encouraged to cooperate and show reciprocity in places where money is scarce.

Tokens can also be given freely without transaction fees, contributing to the gift economy.

People can take up loans of the tokens to start small businesses and people contributing can trade the tokens they collect for the products and services.

Job vs Work

We "work" at our "jobs", and "work" can be used to refer to our "jobs", but the underlying difference is, "work" can be used in areas where its just labour, while "job" refers specifically to paid work.

The word work is more general than “job” – whereas “job” is a specific occupation/profession, “work” refers to general efforts and activities done to accomplish a goal. “Work” can be done both inside an official job and outside a job!

The word job is more recent, dates from the industrial age, whereas work is an old word.

In the coming of the 4th industrial age, climate change and biodiversity extinction, explosion of population, increase in human lifespan (Silver Tsunami) and financial instability, there is enough work for everybody, but it may not be the same for jobs.


Lets put some definition:
Job - activity that people do to obtain money -- to make a living.
Work - activity that is performed for its own sake, for pleasure derived from giving, or the passion expressed for the activity itself.

If you did not need the money, would you still have the job?

If the answer  is yes. Then your job is also your work, and you are the minority in this world.

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There is a connection to public health.

Evidence points that jobs without meaning makes you sick, and even kill you. I have a few friends that died this year. Friends that decided to grind and work hard to earn more money. One of them owns several houses but decided that it was hard to give up a high paying job and needed to work hard to maintain the same lifestyle until he collapsed and never woke up again. Another friend simply works in a stressful environment everyday and constantly falls ill, just to pay bills and get by, and eventually, his poor health caught up with him.

There are several research done to show that medical services have little effect on national health levels. Instead, what influences health is a work situation where people are in control of their lives.

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Money and Job.

The problem with work is finding someone to pay money for it. i.e. making it a paid job as well. The scarcity in jobs make money scarce as well. But does money need to remain scarce?

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Unemployment

With the coming of the 4th industrial revolution, will unemployment be just a blue collar thing?

No! Large corporation worldwide are shedding people and having "strategic layoffs" Even profitable companies are streamlining to be more efficient and this will be a trend and becoming new norm, and no jobs are safe.

As we progress in technology and processes, corporations may improve its competitiveness through downsizing. It also has economic consequences. as people buy less when they lose their jobs, but in Third World Countries, the middle class expands and market shifts there.

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Economic Exclusion

When economic irrelevance occurs, it creates depression in the population. "We don't need what they have and they can't buy what we sell."

Depression may become epidemic and you get a society that cares only for themselves. Violent rage and lashing out randomly and the majority of the society tries to blame others and find scapegoats for the problems.

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Fear by the majority

The next thing that is on everyone's mind is -- fear.

Fear leads to people and companies taking defensive positions, reducing investments, causing unemployment to increase and starting a vicious cycle.

People start to fear things different from them, and this creates political polarization. In many countries, political leaders cannot solve the problems as they follow traditional ways. 

The traditional left-right debate is an inheritance of the Industrial Age economic framework. Debate had to do with private or public ownership of the 'means of production'; i.e. factories and machines. 

What is missing is always -- money. In a poorer community, there is a lot of work to be done, and people are willing to do it, but who will pay for it?

Interestingly, with the fear, the population also turns to high nationalism, and we have seen the effects of this during WWII.

-- Robin Low

Money is an agreement, within a community, to use something as a means of payment.

Today, money is an agreement, within a community, to use something as a means of payment.

Sadly, today's money is used mainly as a means of payment rather than a "medium of exchange" which is used in the past.

4 features of (normal) money today:

1) Money is geographically attached to a nation state.
2) Money is 'fiat' money -- created out of nothing.
3) Money is created by bank debt.
4) Bank debt against payment of interest.

1) (Normal) Money creates a bond between countries divided by an invisible line. This arrange has serious consequences for all participants and value and exchange can change drastically, affecting the lives of many people without their ability to do anything about it.

Political corruption, chronic shortages of food and medicine, closure of companies, unemployment, deterioration of productivity and high dependence on oil have also contributed to the worsening crisis. Currency devaluation makes everything not affordable my the locals and causing a hyper inflation. (Instability of national currencies)

2) Money is created out of nothing -- like magic. Central bank can create money when needed.

3) The dollar started out as a bank loan. When you buy a car and request for a loan, the bank will magically create a deposit in the seller's account and you have to reimburse the loan until it is destroyed.

Debt money derives its value from scarcity relative to its usefulness. The scarcity has to be artificially and systematically introduced and maintained. Central banks play a role in their currency intentionally scarce to maintain relative value and this system in a fiat currency system is not self regulating.

4) Interest is a recent phenomena and the effects (to service the loan) are pervasive and powerful.
a) Interest indirectly encourages systematic competition among the participants in the system.
b) Interest fuels the need for endless economic growth, even when living standards remain the same.
c) Interest concentrates wealth by taxing the majority in favor of the rich.


In the fourth industrial revolution, a bold change to what we know as money is needed, otherwise the concentration of wealth and income inequality would be exponentially worse. Coupled with a climate change, an aging population and uncontrolled population growth, it is true that while money has the potential for abundance, sustainability and peace of mind; it can also engender unending suffering and hardship.



-- Robin Low

Short term financial interests vs long term sustainability

Scientific evidence for warming of the climate system is unequivocal.

Temperature is up.

The planet's average surface temperature has risen about 1.62 degrees Fahrenheit (0.9 degrees Celsius) since the late 19th century, a change driven largely by increased carbon dioxide and other human-made emissions into the atmosphere.4 Most of the warming occurred in the past 35 years, with the five warmest years on record taking place since 2010. Not only was 2016 the warmest year on record, but eight of the 12 months that make up the year — from January through September, with the exception of June — were the warmest on record for those respective months.

Ice sheets are shrinking.

The Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets have decreased in mass. Data from NASA's Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment show Greenland lost an average of 281 billion tons of ice per year between 1993 and 2016, while Antarctica lost about 119 billion tons during the same time period. The rate of Antarctica ice mass loss has tripled in the last decade.

Extreme events are getting more common.

The number of record high temperature events in the United States has been increasing, while the number of record low temperature events has been decreasing, since 1950. The U.S. has also witnessed increasing numbers of intense rainfall events.

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All said and done, many companies and governments are still carrying on business as normal. Forests are getting chopped down. Vegetation are removed for monoculture crops like Palm Oil, waste are getting vented into the atmosphere or dumped in rivers.

Many of these practices are going on because of short term profits.

Any company that does not need to spend more on disposal will do so, and in the US, the EPA is cutting down regulations to allow more short term profits for companies.

For the convenience of "users" single use plastics are still used and they end up burnt or in landfills. In Singapore, plastic straws, single use plastic bags are still common, and recycling is talked about and not really practiced properly.

Even in 2018, where solar and wind power is getting cheaper, banks are still funding the construction of coal powered plants.

Most people are concerned about convenience than the environment.

If businesses and governments don't act, and the majority of the people are unaware or apathetic to the environment, it is hard to advocate change when the conditions are stacked against you.

-- Robin Low

Money and the fourth industrial revolution.

Money not only has the potential to contribute to global abundance, peace and sustainability if used wisely, but when restricted in its flow, it also has the ability to create unfathomable hardship and suffering.

Money is an important component of our lives. We spend a lot of time earning, saving and spending money. We allocate a lot of mental, physical and emotional energy around the topic of money, but how many of us really knows what is money and where it comes from? Income inequality is becoming a big problem and there are many other problems associated with the current financial system.

However, it is not just the lack of money that is preventing us from addressing current challenges. Rather, it is the limited functionality of our money and monetary system that is the major force behind our present disorders. Many current solutions reside within the architecture of our current monetary system and in out understanding of and agreements around, money.

A hundred years ago, the world was oblivious of pollution and over population. Nationalism, competition, colonization and endless growth is encouraged. These values start to shape the monetary and banking systems we have today.

In the coming of the Fourth Industrial Revolution, we have a monetary system from another age which is starting to look inadequate to solve the challenges ahead. Many attempts at money reform have failed in the past, because they were trying to radically change the official money system in a time where the problems do not seem as obvious as today. But instead of replacing the money system completely, a complementary currency can operate in parallel. With the availability of information technologies, we have what is necessary to implement new money system that allows for money innovation.

Upskilling? How about leveraging on their other soft skills?

I have often heard about people talking about re-training their older staff, then paying them less because they are now "without experience" and starting in a new industry.

Sadly, a lot of experienced workers in many industries have lost their jobs. In many cases, due to the change of direction of the government policies making some industries disappear. They told to get IT skills, programming skills or join the hospitality industry.

Having trained refugees in innovation and technology, I realized that it is much easier said than done. I've worked with ex-prisoners and various other skilled labor on imparting tech skills and unfortunately, a small fraction of them can really make it in the fast moving tech industry.

Looking at the skill sets that these experienced people have, they still have a lot of project management skills, connections and other soft skills that the new start-up industry people do not possess.

A process engineer for a manufacturing company can still add value to the innovation and creativity to a start-up company run by a 20 year old, by adding structure. There may be inter-generational gap in terms of thinking and ideas, but as for diversity, adding other opinions can actually make the company more creative and innovative than just having a few college grads running the show.

Many tech companies, software or hardware will eventually engage larger established companies as clients or a more mature customer base, and having someone who speaks "the language" and help communicate the needs -- can offer good insights on what the customer may actually need.

I see "upskilling" and "skills upgrading" as a good way for businesses to retrench people based on their age and then paying them less on new jobs which they have to be trained for.

There is a need for a better way to move forward -- a need to build empathy and better communication skills in organizations so that they can fully utilize the potential of their workers, but helping the different generations communicate better, valuing experience and outside knowledge which may not seem relevant to the industry initially, but having a diverse background allows different insights which may lead to better framing of problems and better solutions.

There are always people who can code, but a tech company needs more than just coders.

-- Robin Low

Humans make bad decisions -- But don't judge

I was driving along on a congested highway and I saw cars cutting in front of the line, making the same exit I was trying to get off, blocking much of the traffic. Approaching the exit, a large SUV drove up and aggressively drove into my lane to exit the highway.

I blasted my horn and shouted vulgarities at the driver and even flashed my high beams at him. "What an inconsidered person!"

The next day, I was riding my large motorcycle into Malaysia and as I was going through customs, I realized that the lanes were too narrow for my motorcycle. As I could not get pass, I had to reverse out, I blocked the path for many motorcycles and some of them horned at me. Many people looked angry and probably thought I was a jerk. But I kept thinking. "It is not my fault. The lanes were poorly designed and I could not pass."


This actually has a name. Fundamental Attribution Error

The Fundamental Attribution Error is our bias to judge other people differently from how we judge ourselves.

When things go poorly. When we screw up, we tend to believe things happened because of circumstances outside of our control. However, when others fail, we tend to think it is a result of poor choices or someone being a bad person.

I have done this countless times. When I saw a person rebuilding a shop at the base of a landslide -- after a landslide. I tried to tell him that there is no vegetation on the hill and the landslide will push his shop off a cliff again, but he insisted that this place was the easiest place to build as it is flat and has no vegetation on it. I was thinking why can't people think? But could it be the case of lack of choice?


In religion, I often hear stories about priests and abuse in church on the news. Christians are perfectly fine with an imperfect system. I have read about news where a Muslim man raped a teenager, and is forced to marry her and the solution seemed fine with other Muslims. Buddhists monks seemed to get the support of other Buddhists in their countries when they are oppressing people of other religions, and in come cases, incite violence and anti-Muslim riots.

It seems that their acts can be forgiven by their gods, but when it comes to consenting adults having sex, they want to legislate what adults of the same sex do in their bedrooms.


On Social Media, You are either judged or you are invisible.

Many people like to judge others. It can be seen on various posts online. We give ourselves and our friends the benefit of the doubt but not others who do similar things.

When we succeed, we believe it is our hardwork and talent, and when we see others succeed, we sometimes believe it is pure luck or that person is connected in some way...

So why are we wired to make bad decisions and what can we do about it?

Turns out that confidence boost can benefit us and may even serve an evolutionary purpose. Researchers believe it may help us take on beneficial risks as we change our perception of what we’re capable of.

For example, a study of unemployed college grads found those who credited their successes to themselves, were more likely to find a job than students who tended to blame themselves for failures. The researchers’ believe students who viewed things in a more self-serving way were more motivated and optimistic about their futures.

We need to;

1) Embrace the luck of the die.

Yes, sometimes luck play a factor. People do win the lottery. The winning odds are mind blowing, and most of all, you have NOTHING to do with it.

We need to be grateful that good things happen to us, and not that we deserve it sometimes. This same attitude regarding the role chance plays in all our lives can help us cultivate a more unbiased point of view.


2) Build empathy by engaging with others.

When we have zero information and no knowledge about something, our biases and what we read / learn in books, etc. kicks in and we judge based on our biases.

Seeing a woman get into an accident, we make quick judgements based on her sex and not the events that lead up to the accident.

We need to engage with more people and travel and learn about other cultures. Practicing empathy has been found to reduce the fundamental attribution error. Pretending you are in the shoes of the person you are likely to blame makes us less judgmental.


3) Assholes exist.

Well sometimes, people are brought up wrong. And humans are brought up to have fundamental attribution error. It helped in our survival to bolster our confidence and reputation. However, in modern society, this cognitive bias can hurt us and others more than it serves us.

And on Social Media, extreme cognitive biases may be seen as racist or "bully" and one could lose their jobs because of one stupid post which we may regret for a very long time.

But take note. We may be assholes, but we have the ability to evolve and do better. If you get angry without all the information next time, give others the benefit of the doubt and seek out why by putting yourself in their shoes, even if it takes a little effort.

Of course assholes exists, but you don't need to be one sometimes.


-- Robin Low

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 49

Tupi felt strange. He was looking at himself lying on the hospital bed -- alone. There were doctors, nurses checking on him from time to time, but no one came to visit. "I guess, in the end, my existence did not matter to anyone." Tupi said.

Tupi watch himself with tubes coming out of his nose and mouth and nurses coming to feed him from time to time using the tubes. Soon, it was morning again, and still no one visited. Tupi can feel himself drifting further away from his body. "I guess this is the end. Working hard my whole life for that HDB flat, and no one remembers me. I think my Eulogy would read - Loner to the end, failing to help, and helping to fail."

Tupi was about to turn and leave, but he saw Suzie coming into his room and sitting beside him. "Tupi, please wake up. I felt really lonely when you left the house to live on your own. I miss you and I did not have a chance to tell you as you were travelling and did not give me new your non-office phone number." She choked a little and cried clutching her Mickey Mouse necklace. "You were the best brother to me and... and you protected me and taught me many things when I was young."

"You bought me this necklace in Tokyo Disneyland when I was 14, and wear this everyday. When we had a fall on your motorcycle, which I got this scar, you never forgave yourself and sold the motorcycle and never rode again. But it was my fault for leaning the wrong way in a corner. The last time I saw you happy was with that bike." Suzie said holding Tupi's hand tight. "After that, you started working and even when we live in the same house, I don't really have a chance to meet you except during New Years and Christmas. You work late everyday and get home tired and sleep all weekend, then you moved out a few months ago. Mary was angry at first as she thought you would be still in the house taking care of me. I did not want you to move, but you seemed finally happy again with your own place. Please don't leave me...."

Tupi paused. He did not realize that his sister cared so much about him. He approached her and tried to touch her but his hands passed through her. "I'm a bad brother, I have never been there, not even for your graduation because I was in the army. Then I focused too much on work. I wanted to give you more space as we live in such a small HDB flat, so I was determined to move out to give you space." Tupi said. "I am too selfish. Even when I was jobless, I wanted to explore more and did not think about catching up with you and Mary. I just wanted to make an impact on someone... anyone, as my life has been insignificant and no one would remember me, but now I know that you cared... I need to find a 1-up or restore from a save point. Please let me try again. I will make it up to you."

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Tupi woke up in a hospital bed. He opened his eyes slowly and his vision was still blurry with a bit of red. He was very uncomfortable with tubes in his nose and mouth. He can feel a throbbing pain on the side of his head and ringing in his ears. "My head hurts... so much." Tupi mumbled and as his vision slowly gets into focus, he realized that he was in an empty room.

Tupi felt slightly nauseous and really tired. tears rolled down his face as he had a sudden feeling of loneliness again. "I guess this is level 10." Tupi thought to himself and could not control the tears rolling down his cheeks. "Oh.. god, this hurts more..." Tupi muttered as his tears entered his bandages and went over some abrasions.

Tupi closed his eyes and waited for the pain to end.

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Tupi heard more voices in his room. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Michael. "Hey! You are awake!" Michael shouted excitedly and ran out of the room. Minutes later, Tupi's sisters came in along with many of his other friends he met while he was volunteering.

"Tupi!" Suzie cried. "Don't leave me!" 

Tupi felt something warm inside. He felt loved and glad that he had many friends and family concerned about him. 

"Here are some information about you on the News." Michael said. "Singaporean survived hurricane in Florida only to hit by a car in Singapore... Seems like your friend Justin was interviewed and he had some photos of you, and local news was about to publish it and soon after, you were hit by that car mirror. It was a hit and run, some people posted the accident, it became viral, and when your story broke, suddenly there are a lot of well wishers. The whole room next door is filled with flowers from well wishers. They also caught the driver."

Tupi was happy, he wanted to respond but started choking from some liquid entering his throat getting into his airway.

"Doctor!" Suzie shouted and the nurses rushed in to check on Tupi. The nurse shined a flashlight into Tupi's eyes.

"He's ok." The nurse said. I will remove the tubes now, since he is awake. Can all of you please leave for a while, I need to work here."

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Tupi made a full recovery. His skull was fractured by a car mirror and went into a coma for 3 days from the impact, but nothing was seriously damaged inside. Tupi was observed in the hospital for 2 more days and many people including numerous strangers came to visit.

Tupi was really touched as he felt appreciated. "I am not alone."

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 48

Tupi felt insignificant. He was confused. Can change be driven by one person alone? Do people care about making social impact or more about themselves?

Tupi was in his apartment alone. He looked at some of the photos of himself as he unpacked and he had friends in school, but after he started work, he felt more alone than ever. He did not have much of a social life and did not do anything much besides work.

Tupi checked his emails and for the few weeks he was traveling, he did not receive any emails from any friend or family – just lots of spam emails. Tupi went onto Facebook. There were no new messages or anyone commenting on his posts. (http://www.visiontimes.com/2014/10/21/10-levels-of-loneliness-which-one-are-you-at-now-photos.html) He checked out a meme on Level of loneliness and shook his head. “Wow, I moved into this apartment by myself, and I have no one who I think would help me move.” Tupi said. “That’s level 9/10 loneliness. I wonder if anyone really cared about me, or if I would die alone?”

Tupi check the other rooms in his apartment and still found several boxes that were still packed up in boxes. He found some undeveloped film from his camera and made a list of things to do.

1) Build shelves.
2) Buy new 2m long shower hose.
3) Get nice comfy chair.
4) Need a bucket and mop.
...


Looking at his list, Tupi went online to check for the items and decided to take a trip to Ikea and make some stops along the way for the other items which cannot be found in Ikea.

Tupi plotted out his trip route and efficiently went about his purchase. He would systematically go to the store he picked, make his purchase, take the shortest route to the next store and move on.

Tupi was quite pleased with his progress. As he was waiting at the sidewalk, he crossed out some of the items he bought on his list and saw an e-scooter speeding by and stepped away from the path of the e-scooter, unfortunately, he was too close to the road and as a car was passing by, the mirror his Tupi on the head and everything went black.

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 47

When Tupi was going home, he kept thinking about whether he prevented Michael from helping to build another bridge. "Helping is hard... Not helping is also hard." Tupi muttered and was troubled. "I thought that taking a few months to do volunteer work would make me learn more, but instead it made me more confused."

When Tupi reached home, he made some tea and took out a book and read a chapter. Then he started thinking about the bridge again. "They never asked for a bridge, it seemed like Michael wanted to build it because he had been building bridges for other communities around the world. So when the bridge did not get completed, why am I so worried about it? Is it because I sort of donated money and wanted it to be completed, even though my life is not affected by its completion? Should I donate more money to get it done, but what if it still does not get done? Isn't this how scams work?"

Tupi picked up the phone and called Alex (In Haiti). "Hey Alex... I've a question for you. I've donated money to build a bridge, and it has not been built because they needed more money as they did not budget for things, but after several rounds of more donations, it still did not get done... Should I donate one last time?"

"People in third world country are not incompetent. They can budget. If they fail to budget once, it may be because it was their first time, and they will be careful after. If they fail many times, it may be because they think you are a sucker and they are just milking you for money. Please don't encourage such behaviors." Alex said.

"Thank you... " Tupi said and he felt a lot better. "I guess I did learn something..."

Tupi went on the job portal and looked at the job postings. He typed in "Social Impact" and there was no job listing on anything social except "Social Media".

"Well, I guess no one will pay you to do good. It seems like you have to pay to do good..." Tupi said. "The world is really weird that way."

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 46

Tupi met up with Michael to have dinner. Chomp Chomp was very crowded as usual and it took them sometime before they got a seat and their food, but the food was good.

"So have you found a job yet?' Michael asked. "Any good offers?"

"Applied for some and did not get any response." Tupi said. "Did not try that hard though, still want to understand more about myself."

"Wah, so rich ah..." Michael said. "Don't work also can travel? And pay for your new HDB flat?"

"I've been saving for the past 30 years for the house." Tupi said. "Finally bought it with all my savings. After that, my expenses are actually pretty low. I'm also renting out a room."

"Ok, anyway, I have some bad news." Michael said. "Remember the bridge we fundraised for Nepal a long time ago?"

"Ya?" Tupi asked. "What's wrong with it?"

"They have not built it. We sent the money and they hired the contractor and engineers and bought the materials." Michael said. "Then we did another round of fundraising for transportation."

"Yup, remembered that." Tupi said.

"Then they discovered that they needed more materials months later..." Michael said. "And we fundraised again and bought the materials and actually went there with the truck for delivery."

"Uh-huh." Tupi nodded."

"The bridge is still not completed yet." Michael said. "We paid for the permits, and submission, and it got approved months later again, but now, they claim that the monsoon washed away the sand and some of the cement bought was damaged in storage."

"This is ridiculous, don't they need to walk like 10km instead of 1km to the bus stop if the bridge is completed?" Tupi asked. "Why did they not store it well, and can't they pay for the remaining bits?"

"Uhhh... they are still living in poverty, their homes are slowly getting rebuilt, and they say they are still poor, but I kind of feel that we are getting taken for a ride." Michael said. "Many of the villagers have bigger houses now, they added a third floor to their homes.  So, you are right, they may be able to pay for the damaged materials and are just not doing it as suckers like us keep doing fundraising for them. "

"Ok." Tupi said.

"What do you mean ok?" Michael said.

"What else do you want to do?" Tupi asked. "If we believe that they can fund the materials and build their own bridge, then we should just drop it."

"What do you mean -- drop it?" Michael asked.

"How does it affect you if the bridge does not get built?" Tupi asked. "Are you angry that the bridge is not built because they cannot budget for nuts? We should allow them to pay for the remaining bits for the bridge."

"Wow, deep..." Michael said. "Travel has made you different... You were always so easy going and ok with everything."

"Unless its an ego thing where you want to show to people the bridge you built. " Tupi said. "Otherwise, just walk away. If its important to them, they will get it done."

"But they are poor..." Michael said.

"And yet they can build another floor." Tupi said.

"Oh ya..." Michael said and pondered for a few minutes. "Then I'll not do another round of fundraising for them. Thanks!"

"You were still thinking of another round for fundraising?" Tupi asked. "Its been years."

"Ya, but the bridge was not built yet." Michael said.

"You are too good..." Tupi said and they both laughed.

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 45

Tupi arrived in Singapore after a long flight. He felt accomplished but had also some doubts with some of the things he had done. Tupi had a lot of time to think on the government response and how some of the survivors are stuck because of the bad policies causing so much waste.

Tupi did his laundry and took a nap, the continued with some chores in the house. Tupi finished his chores and watched Netflix for an hour and felt much relaxed. "What should I do now?" Tupi asked and looked at his laptop. He pressed the power button and it could not be powered it. "Damn it," Tupi complained. It was an old notebook and the battery was dead and it took ages to power up. Tupi connected the cables, powered it on and took a shower while it was turning on.

"Back to this again." Tupi said as he dried himself with a towel and started to check some emails. "Its such a long time without using my computer." Tupi browsed through several job portals and looked for suitable jobs. He spent an hour and bookmarked several jobs to apply later.

"Ok, now I can do other things." Tupi said, feeling productive. Tupi checked his phone messages and to do list and found that he needed to call Michael. "Yup, sure, all chores done." Tupi muttered to himself.

"Hi Michael, its me, Tupi." Tupi called Michael on the phone. "I just got back."

"Wanna grab a drink?" Michael said. "I'll buy you a drink as promised."

"Sure, where?" Tupi asked.

"Any cravings for Singapore food?" Michael asked.

"Oh yes, BBQ Stingray!" Tupi said. "Lets go Chomp Chomp to have beer too!"

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 44

Tupi woke up to his phone ringing. It was Michael. 

"Hey Tupi, heard about you getting lost in Florida after the hurricane. Are you ok? Did you get hurt? You need to go to the hospital for a check up, you may have ..." Michael said on the phone.

"I'm ok, was not hurt or anything, just went out and got disoriented by the messy roads." Tupi said. "Thanks for the concern, I'll be back in 2 days and will go for a check up in Singapore. Did Justin tell everyone?"

"Yeah, read about it on Facebook." Michael said. "I'm glad you are not hurt. I'll buy you a drink when you are back. I have some stories about Nepal Earthquake I want to tell you. Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you."

"No one is taking advantage of me. The people are very nice here, and they sent me back to Justin." Tupi said. "Just realized how vulnerable I was without my phone."

...

The 2 chatted for about an hour and Tupi felt a lot better when he knows that someone cares about him. Tupi went to have breakfast with Justin and just wanted to take it easy. Justin sent Jake to his mom at the hospital and Tupi heard that Jake's mom is getting discharged and he would go home with her. Things are looking better and Tupi did not want to risk it and he stay in the house to pack up. 

"MRE and life straw is still here, never get to use them." Tupi said and took them out of his luggage and continued to pack. Tupi did his laundry and carefully ironed and folded his clothes. Tupi looked at the photos in his camera and was still in awe on the destruction. 

When Justin is back, Justin took Tupi to Miami where they went to the mall to shop for souvenirs and had a good dinner. Tupi felt a lot better after a burger and milkshake and Justin took the scenic route where they had the windows down. There was not much traffic and everything was calm and peaceful.

Soon it was time for Tupi to get on his flight to Singapore. He checked for his passport and his belongings and Justin sent him to the airport. It was an interesting adventure, one that he would never forget.

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 43

Tupi got in the car and after crossing the bridge, the nice sunshine and the wind blowing on Tupi's face helped him to relax and Tupi was able to recognize some of the roads and guided the driver to Justin's house.

When the car pulled up, Justin ran out and saw Tupi. "Where did you go? What happened to you?" Justin asked.

"I don't know what happened, I could not sleep, went out and got lost." Tupi said. "And I was saved by the people who lost their homes."

"Thank you sir, for bringing my friend back." Justin said to the man, shook his hands. "Do you want to come in for a drink?"

"Got to go now!" The man said and waved good bye. "Some packing to do."

============================================================

Tupi went in the house and felt ashamed. "I seem to be a lot of trouble."

"Its just stress." Justin replied. "You are not used to be in this situation."

"But I did not even lose anything..." Tupi said. "I'm now being a burden."

"You have too much empathy." Justin said. "You are feeling the shared painful experiences of everyone, and you are taking it all it. Perhaps we should talk more, eat healthy and rest well. I've been through a phase of depression before, and trust me, you don't want to have it especially when you're just here to help."

"Ok, I'll take it easy." Tupi said. "Did not know that I can develop stress by just volunteering."


============================================================

Tupi took a nap and woke up in the evening to go for dinner with Justin at a nice restaurant. They went to the hospital to get Jake. "Lets go get some Southern Seafood!" Justin said and brought Jake along for dinner.

"Have you tried Jambalaya?" Justin asked.

"Is it like Paella" Tupi asked.

"I don't know. To me, Gumbo, Paella, Jambalaya and etouffee is almost the same thing." Justin said. "Gumbo and etouffee are wetter, almost like soup with rice inside, but pretty much similar"

"Wow, so many different names?" Tupi said. "All the rice dish with meat, seafood and vegetables inside?"

"Yup..." Justin said.

"Hey Jake, do you like Jambalaya?" Justin asked.

"Love it!" Jake said.

"Then its set!" Justin said. "Lets go!"

Everyone seems to be in a much better mood. Jake started talking about his mother's recovery and the mood was rather uplifting.

============================================================

The smell of good food, fried seafood and spicy Cajun sauce fills the air. Tupi immediately looked at the spicy Jambalaya and was all set. "What goes well with this?" Tupi asked the waiter.

"Sauvignon Blanc" The waiter said.

"Really?" Tupi asked.

"The spiciness of the Jambalaya actually goes really well with a medium bodied white." The waiter replied. "Not too over powering and brings out the flavor of the other ingredients inside."

"Sounds really good." Tupi said. "I'll have that and the wine."

============================================================

It seem like good food and good company can fix everything. Tupi felt much better when they got back to the house. Tupi looked at his schedule and decided to book a flight home in 2 days. Then he went and inform Justin.

Tupi chatted with Justin into the night, talking about his recent experience and near breakdown. Justin listened and was very encouraging. Tupi felt a big relief after the chat and slept well for the night.

Short Social Fiction: Adventures of Tupi 42

Tupi could not sleep even when he felt really tired from lifting heavy stuff. Tupi felt restless and could not focus. He got up and washed his face and was not sure what he was doing. Tupi went through his luggage and found his lifestraw, MRE and solar kits. "What was I thinking..." Tupi muttered and decided to get some fresh air.

Tupi put on his light jacket and sneakers and left the house. Then he began to walk down the road.

==========================================================

Tupi did not realize that he walked for a long time and the sky was turning blue. "Morning?" Tupi muttered. Tupi felt confused and disoriented. "Where the hell am I?" Tupi asked and he was lost. The roads does not look familiar and he did not know how to get back to the house.

Tupi could not find his phone, he just realized that he did not have Justin's address or any other phone numbers on him to call. Everything he knows is stored on the WhatsApp messenger. Tupi felt calm, he did not panic and felt rather numb.

==========================================================

Tupi walked and soon could smell an open trench. He continued to walk and crossed the bridge. At this time, his legs were aching and he was a little dizzy. He walked over to a few people at their destroyed trailers and sat there. Tupi was not feeling so well. 

One of the kids at the trailer approached Tupi. "Do you need a drink?" The young girl offered Tupi a refilled bottle of water and Tupi drink it quickly. Tupi did not realize that he was badly dehydrated. "Thanks, I really needed that." Tupi said and walked over to the family and helped with the clearing of debris for them to collect some of their belongings.

A few hours have passed and the family offered Tupi some fruits for lunch. "Where do you live now?" The man asked Tupi. 

"I live on the other side of the bridge." Tupi said. "I mean.. The house is not destroyed... I'm not from here... I live in Singapore." Tupi was confused again, and he was not sure why.

"Are you ok?" The man asked. "Do you need to go to a hospital or something? There is one in Tavernier and another in Homestead. We could send you there."

"I think I'm ok, I'm not injured or anything. I needed some fresh air." Tupi said. 

"Where do you live?" The man asked. "Perhaps I could send you back. You seemed a little lost."

"I was here yesterday. I don't recall where I live but I know it is on the other side of the bridge. Nearer to Miami, not on the Keys." Tupi said.

"Ok, We are pretty much done for the day, still need to do some paperwork and need the Internet. Send you back in 15 mins?" The man said. 

"Sure, ok." Tupi replied.